I’m a girl (yeah, no shit?). Not a typical one, but still. And as a girl I’m allowed to watch heart-breaking, sugar-coated films. I’ve never cried to The Notebook and I don’t like Titanic. Okay, I liked it for a moment when I was a little girl and watch it for the first time. The only emotion it got from me was laughter on the sex scene (I was like 6-7, so that explains a lot). But in my pre-high school period when puberty hit me, I watched girly films all the time, A Cinderella Story being one of them. It was quite educating, so if you’ve never watched it, I’m willing to share that knowledge with you.
1. If you put your phone in your shoe, you will lose it
It’s inevitable. With the pace Apple products grow bigger and bigger, you won’t be able to put iPhone 7 or 8 anywhere. Unless, of course, you split a pair of shoes with a friend and put your phone in there. Trust me, that will make you even cooler.
2. You don’t need education when you have a job
People go to university to get a degree and find themselves a job. If you already have a job, you can skip the education part. Come on, do you know how many people dream about a job like yours in McDonalds?
3. If you dress like a man, you can get a man
And not just any man, but the most attractive one. Just wear shirts two or three sizes bigger, baseball hats and old jeans. Don’t wash you hair or shave your moustache. Be invisible, don’t talk to popular people and there you go – the perfect man is yours.
4. If you wear a mask, you can kiss whoever you want
Especially if it covers most of your face. A big hat in addition always helps. I’m sure you can pull that outfit even if it’s not Halloween. Just go out there dressed like Dart Vader or Batman and kiss your crush. If you’re lucky enough, you can even get laid. Just don’t take your mask off and you’ll be fine.
5. Water has zero calories
I see you’re surprised as well! I wonder why the government is keeping this from us. When I come to think how many lives that would have saved.. Such a shame!
M. Stefanova, 23 January 2013