Home alone


Yesterday I spent the first night in my life when I was completely and utterly alone. 24 hours of only me. It was amazing! Really, I have to do that more often. But you see, somehow my neighbors knew I was alone and thought I was bored. So, the nice people they are, decided to either have very wild and noisy sex, or kill each other, again, noisily. Whatever that was, I don’t ever want to hear it again. An hour and a half was enough. Though I have to say, if it was sex – well done! Almost broke my record there.

I sang, I walked around the apartment naked (after I took a shower, of course, who do you think I am?), I sang some more, I danced and hang out with Friends to keep me company. No, not real people, the series.

I had no food and it was too cold outside (and I was too lazy inside) to go to Tesco, so I ate like a cucumber (I don’t like cucumbers) and some salad cream with Heinz ketchup. Yeah, I actually ate it off my fingers, since there was nothing to eat it with. I tried watching porn, but wasn’t in the mood. I skyped with my mom, I cleaned, I studied and that was pretty much it.

Despite the fear of getting killed in the shower at 1am, I think I did pretty well. And honestly, I don’t know why people whine about living alone or being on their own. Really, do you not like yourself that much? I guess sometimes it can get pretty lonely, but that’s what friends are for! You simply invite them over and you have something to do a week in advance – clean the mess they’ve made.



M. Stefanova, 27th January 2013


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