Five lessons from ‘She’s the Man’ (or how to make your crush like you by turning him into gay)

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1. Hide your boobs
There is nothing guys hate more than boobs. The smaller, the better. If you don’t have any, that’s a plus.

2. Have a mustache
A fake one would be great, a real one would seal the deal. If you by any chance don’t grow your own mustache and can’t afford a fake one, don’t worry – just paint one with a permanent market, that would do.

3. Do sports
Sweat like a pig, swear like a truck driver, and break a leg now and then. Literally, you have to break something and cry like a baby. That would turn him on.

4. Be disgusting
Pick your nose, smell your armpits, eat like a pig, fart a lot, put a tampons in your nose, you know, the usual stuff. The smellier and dirtier you get, the more attracted he will be to you.

5. Break his heart
If you actually went through the above four and he is still madly in love with you, break his heart during a football game. Or just stand in front of the TV during the finals. I’m 100% sure he will propose right away.

Good luck, ladies!

M. Stefanova, 2013

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