Five types of photos I have

Since puberty hit me (which was when I was around 12-13), I’ve been cautious for the way I look. And, because I’m a girl, I sought compliment, mainly on the Internet.

I had accounts in every website possible and regularly uploaded photos of myself. As time passed, I started deleting those accounts, but the photos remained on my computer. Most of them are alike, which is why I divided them into the following 5 categories.

1. Half-faced


Why: Because the other part of your face is so male and hairy, it makes Chewbacca looks pretty.

How: You simply take a normal (whatever that means) picture and then crop it halfway through.

Effect: Makes you more mysterious (and by mysterious I mean retarded).

2. In the mirror

VLUU L100, M100  / Samsung L100, M100

Why: Because no one wants to take a photo of you (you’re probably too ugly or boring for people to stick around anyway).

How: If I really have to explain to you how to take a photo in the mirror, you’re dumb as well.

Effect: Gaining extra attention, especially if you’re taking the photo in the bathroom and your dirty underwear is all over the floor.

3. Drunk/embarrassing


Why: Don’t ask why, get to the ship immediately! No, abort mission, abort mission!

How: Idk dude, there was some guy with a camera and I was like ‘Let me check my make-up’ and my face was gone.

Effect: Helps you remember what you did last night and more importantly, with who.

4. “Artistic”

VLUU L100, M100  / Samsung L100, M100

Why: You’re bored.

How: Show a little imagination. If you have none, which is probably the case, try imitating some super star from the movies, duh!

Effect: Makes you look prettier than ever (and by prettier I mean retarded).

5. Funny faces

VLUU L100, M100  / Samsung L100, M100

Why: Because you’re too ugly to take a normal picture and you try to hide it. Kiddin’, it’s actually fun.

How: Some of you have to try make funny faces, others are born with one.

Effect: I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but you’re 100% retarded.

M. Stefanova, 2013


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