I miss the stars. I miss dark nights.
I miss walking on the street barefoot. I miss feeling the grass under my feet.
I miss the sun leaving red marks on my body, where its lips have met my skin.
And then there will be this person. He will come into your life and you won’t even realize it, but he is the one you’ll betray yourself for. Everything you ever believed in, or stood for, it will all be gone. All your life will be at his feet, at his mercy. And you won’t mind. Because you still wouldn’t know it. He is the exception for your every rule. He will lead you through the darkest paths to yourself. You never know who you are until you fall in love. And you never truly know the other, until you fall out of love.
Think of me as you wish, but I’ve been having this dream lately, or is it rather a fantasy. I wake up every night, sweaty and heavy-breathing. And I crave for more. I go to the bathroom every night, wash my face with cold water. And think of him.
His body above me, under me, next to me, inside of me. His hands, touching me, his lips invading my body, my mind, my quiet existence. His eyes, piercing me through the darkness, his breath all over me.
I have had this dream for quite some time now. I have it over and over, until the abhorrent alarm clock interrupts us, and take me away from him.
But I want him. He has no face. But his hands are lovely. I love hands. You probably already know that. He knows that.
And I want this burning sensation inside of me to ruin me.
M. Stefanova, 2013