You know when Joey was in London and tried to figure out where to go? That’s me, only worst, since I’m a girl and our kind is believed to not understand and read maps. I am no different. And if I didn’t love my phone that much, I’d probably step on it too.
I eventually found my way to a bus station, but I had to ask a few people. Got a phone number as well, but that was of no interest to me at that moment, nor is it now.
I found the bus station, but no one could tell me how to find myself. And the saddest part is, I don’t even know if I’m lost. Everything around me seems so familiar, yet so new, different, confusing, strange, foreign.
When the person that was your every morning and every goodnight becomes your occasional hello.
When his hands go from embracing you to grabbing your neck.
When sleep turns into your only reality and music is your only salvation.
That’s when you will lose yourself; just as I did. And no one can give you directions. You are lost. Take your time. Go wherever it feels right to. Don’t take different paths, panicked and alone, just so you could move and not stay in one place. Stay there until you’re ready. I didn’t. And look at me now. I’m so lost I don’t even know who I am.
M. Stefanova, 2013